Buffy's Chance
by Sparkly Faerie
Summary: Buffy knew to be careful of what she said to strangers when in pain; but no one warned her that vengeance demons were eavesdroppers and granted wishes that weren't expressed to them, though.  "I wish I could go back in time and fix it." Spuffy
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or anything associated with it. All rights to _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and affiliated products belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc.

**Summary:** Buffy knew to be careful of what she said to strangers when in pain; but no one warned her that vengeance demons were eavesdroppers and granted wishes that weren't expressed to them, though. "I wish I could go back in time and fix it."

**Based on Episode:** None. Post '_Chosen_'

**Rating:** M

**Pairings:** Spuffy, Tallow, Xanya

**Genre:** Adventure/Romance

* * *

**Buffy's Chance**

**Prologue**

Buffy glared at her second drink of the night; some God-awful fruity concoction that Willow had ordered for her while she'd been in the bathroom. She knew that Buffy's drink of choice was a straight shot of Jack or vodka, but in an effort to 'broaden her horizons', Willow had apparently made it her mission to introduce Buffy to as many different cocktails as possible in one night.

Wrinkling her nose in distaste, Buffy lifted the glass and drained it in one swig, making a sound of disgust as she attempted to ignore the sickly-sweet taste of the alco-pop as she closed her eyes and let the alcohol work it's magic. She enjoyed the buzz that a few drinks gave her – not that she drank herself under the table every night, but she'd had a rough week and felt that she deserved a little relaxing Buffy-time.

"Wow, Buffy," Willow eyed her in surprise, "I don't think I've ever seen you drink anything larger than a shot that fast."

Buffy opened her eyes and fixed Willow with a stern look that looked almost comical on her heavily made-up face. "That's 'cause it was _awful_ and I wanted done with it." She huffed. "It's all fruity and… and fruity!" She wrinkled her nose again, adjusting her leather coat. Casting her eye around the stuffy English pub, she sighed. "I miss The Bronze. Hell," she scoffed, "I miss Sunnydale. In all its Hellmouthy glory."

"Me too." Willow nodded sagely. "But there's nothing we can do about it now. I mean," she cleared her throat in an attempt to grab Buffy before she slipped into one of her short depressions, "there was nothing that we could have done once everything started up. We did everything we could do."

Buffy sighed. "You're right." She admitted. "I mean, it's not that I don't like having other Slayers to share the burden of slayage, but I just…" she huffed into her empty glass, "I screwed it up."

"Oh, you didn't screw it up!" Willow shook her head emphatically. "I know you didn't!"

Buffy gave her a flat look. "I know I _did_." She sighed, signalling the bartender. "I interpreted that spirit guide thingy's message all wrong." She perked up as the bartender approached. "A bottle of Jack and a shot glass, please." She ordered, and turned back to her friend as he shuffled away. "Not that I'm saying that if I had the chance to let _Dawn_ jump off that tower I'd let her, but… thanks," she nodded at the bartender as he placed her bottle and glass in front of her, "I think maybe the message might have meant something afterward. I think the tower was only the beginning."

"Spike?" Willow asked knowingly. She looked at her friend sympathetically, acknowledging that she'd lost happy-Buffy for the night.

Though his name wasn't often spoken between the two women, Willow knew that Buffy was still keenly feeling the loss of the bleach-blonde vampire, and was both depressed and angry that he'd been killed so shortly following his coming-back-from-the-dead thing without even calling her. Hearing it from Angel in casual conversation had not been good for her friend.

Buffy nodded miserably. "I got a visit from that Whistler guy – remember him? – after Sunnydale caved, and he told me that Spike getting his soul was what started all this mess in the first place. Tipped the scales, you know? God, if I could have just _accepted_ him when I had the chance…" she frowned, downing a shot. "I wish I could, like… go back in time to the point where it all started to go wonky and just… fix it, you know? Do something different from what I did, to _not_ screw it up and doom the Slayer line. Figure out _how_ I could stop him from going all evil when the chip malfunctioned, with_out_ a soul."

* * *

Three seats down, a rather beautiful woman was eavesdropping on Buffy's conversation. She could feel the pain rolling off the young woman in waves – she'd been hanging around her for the last two weeks, hoping to hear a wish spill from her lips. Now that her moment had come, she was surprised with the sentimentality behind the wish – usually, the people that she granted wishes to expressed something like, wishing for one more night, or knowing that their loved ones were okay. This one was different. She grinned. This one was going to be interesting.

Fingering the pendant around her neck, she quickly tested the air around the slayer to make sure that the Powers that Be would allow it. To her delight, the air around the slayer was incredibly unstable, almost as if the Powers had been _waiting_ for her to come along and grant this wish.

Her features twisted into the veiny visage of a vengeance demon.

"Wish granted." 


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or anything associated with it. All rights to _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and affiliated products belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc.

**Summary:** Buffy knew to be careful of what she said to strangers when in pain; but no one warned her that vengeance demons were eavesdroppers and granted wishes that weren't expressed to them, though. "I wish I could go back in time and fix it." Spuffy

**Based on Episode:** 6x03 '_After Life_'

**Rating:** M

**Pairings:** Spuffy, Tallow, Xanya

**Genre:** Adventure/Romance

* * *

**Buffy's Chance**

**Chapter One**

Buffy woke up to sunlight streaming down on her face. Groaning unintelligibly in what she had meant to be a protest to such an early-morning awakening (she hadn't had time to process that she didn't have the hangover that she _should_ have had after over half a bottle of Jack downed in a few short hours), she opened her eyes and was met with a bedroom that was most certainly _not_ her own.

Panicked for a second, she groped the sheets around her and dared to peak when she realised that she was alone in the bed. And she was clothed. Okay, check, she hadn't been involved in some strange one-night-stand deal. But why was she not in her own room? Had she maybe stumbled into a motel for the night?

Rubbing her eyes and yawning, she took her time to look around the room. The first thing that struck her was that it was very much like her own room in Sunnydale – but that was impossible, she frowned. Teenaged girls had overrun her old room in Sunnydale, even _after_ she'd given it to Willow to take up the master bedroom. And then, with the whole of Sunnydale imploding onto the Hellmouth, the room itself had been destroyed.

She'd barely sat up and turned to place her feet on the floor when she heard someone cough lightly behind her. Spinning around, she came face to face with a vengeance demon; she'd recognise that veiny visage anywhere.

"Hello, Slayer." The demon smiled amiably, perched on the edge of her desk with her hands folded in her lap.

"Who are you, and what do you want?" Buffy growled. "I'm not gonna be making any wishes, so you can just… go away." Buffy knew that vengeance demons were not aggressive by nature, so she was unlikely to be attacked; she hoped the creature merely wanted to talk. In fact, she'd heard Xander and Kennedy talking just the other day about whether or not a vengeance demon would target Buffy, since she was so depressed nowadays.

The demon looked mildly offended. "But you already _did_ make a wish, sweetling." She supplied soothingly. "I heard you last night, talking with your red-headed friend."

"What?" She frowned.

"You wished that you could go back in time and fix things." The demon reminded her, shaking an index finger at her like a small child. "You know what they say; ask, and ye shall receive."

"What?" Buffy burst out with. "Wh-what? No way. No, nonononono way!" Buffy shook her head. "I was talking to my _friend_ and eavesdropping is rude and…" she looked around her wistfully, "I… I've really come back in time?" She asked. The demon nodded. "How far?"

"The morning after you were resurrected." The demon shrugged. "I figured that you didn't want to have to dig your way out of a coffin again."

Buffy shuddered. "You'd be right about that, but…" she frowned, "is this allowed?"

"The Powers that Be wouldn't have allowed me to grant your wish unless there was another way to address – or avert – the catastrophe that befell Sunnydale." The demon shrugged.

"So…" Buffy got up, as if in a daze, and slowly padded over to the window, "I can change things?"

"What_ever_ you want." The demon grinned smugly. "Well… anything in your immediate sphere of influence, anyway. And if you act out of turn, I'm sure the Powers will send someone to reign you in."

"Can I tell the others?" She whipped around to stare wide-eyed, as the implications began to sink in. "Or… wait, no, that's probably not a good idea…"

"You can do as you see fit, Slayer. This is _your_ second chance, after all." The demon shook her head with amusement. "Anywho, I must be off—"

"Wait!" Buffy surprised herself by grabbing the demon's arm. It felt strange under her hand. "What's your name?"

"Hopelika." She demon smiled gently. "You may run into me here and there around Sunnydale. I go by the name 'Hope' on the clock." She firmly removed the Slayer's firm grip on her arm. "Maybe we could have coffee after a few weeks and you can tell me how things are going."

Buffy nodded dumbly as the demon vanished in a puff of smoke, turning to stare blindly out the window with her jaw slightly lowered. There was no doubt about it – it was really Sunnydale of two thousand and one. She could still see the remains of the oil-rig-like tower that Glory's minions had erected before she'd died. She frowned as she remembered – rather vaguely, like everything else the night that she was resurrected – that the tower had only just collapsed in what was the night before for the rest of the world.

She didn't know how long she'd stood there, just staring, before the silly grin stretched across her face. Giddily, making a mental catalogue of all the things she wanted to change about her life, she started bouncing around on the balls of her feet, doing a very teenaged girly sort of happy dance. She barely noticed the bandages on her already-half-healed knuckles; the only evidence that she'd supposedly been resurrected from the grave the night before.

"Buffy?" Willow's half-amused-half-wary voice sliced through the air, bringing Buffy's little jig to a stop. She was standing in the doorway, looking uncertain as to whether or not to enter. "You okay?"

"I'm great!" Buffy's smile still hadn't disappeared as she crossed the room in two bounds and enveloped the younger version of her best friend in a bear hug. Releasing her, she pulled back a little and took in Willow's bewildered expression. "What's wrong, Wil? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Willow shook herself slightly and smiled. "It's nothin'. You're just very cheery this morning, and I thought… you weren't… I mean… last night…"

Buffy mentally smacked herself as she remembered her attitude back when she'd first been raised from the dead. She'd been apathetic and non-responsive, the polar opposite from how she was feeling at that point in time. "Well, y'know…" she shrugged, hoping to distract her friend from anything out of the ordinary, "dazed and overwhelmed and all that stuff. I slept really well and now I feel almost like my old self again."

Willow cast her eye over her friend and finally smiled, accepting the explanation. "Well, I-I'm glad you're felling better, Buff!" She chirped. "Tara's making pancakes. You want?"

"I want." Buffy nodded eagerly. "I'll just shower and change, and I'll be down in about twenty minutes."

"Okay, I'll get her to make some for you." She paused. "It's good to have you back, Buffy." She added quietly.

"Glad to be back, Wil."

* * *

Buffy had to stop herself from bursting into happy tears the second she saw Tara. She still vividly remembered the young woman's funeral service after Warren had shot her to death – something that she was determined was _never_ going to happen (not that she had anything against Kennedy personally, but Tara had just seemed so much better for Willow). She _did_ envelop the witch in a hug much like she'd hugged Willow upstairs, releasing her to attach herself to Dawn as the younger girl had entered the kitchen.

"Buffy?" Dawn squeaked, the higher pitch of her younger sister's voice striking Buffy as odd – in a good way.

"What?" She pulled back, blinking at her sister's youthful face. She'd been thinking the day before that Dawn had been looking rather old for her age, with all the stress of working for the Watcher's Council. It was good to see her looking so young again.

"A-are… you o-okay?" Tara asked hesitantly, stuttering a little over her words as she stared at Buffy incredulously.

"I'm fine." Buffy assured them, looking from Dawn to Willow to Tara and back again. "Why are you all looking at me like I'm gonna explode? Guys, I'm okay! Don't freak out on me; it's all good."

"I-it's just…" Dawn frowned, "…you were gone for so long, and after last night we just kinda thought you might need some time… to adjust… is all…"

Buffy shrugged, releasing her sister. "I was tired last night. I'm feeling all chipper and happy today." She sniffed. "What's burning?"

"Oh!" Tara fumbled with her spatula as she flipped the pancakes in the frypan on the stove – Buffy winced at the slightly charred pancakes, shrugging a little as she poured herself a glass of juice and downed half of it in one gulp. She found a plate of non-burnt pancakes pushed in front of her as she took a seat on one of the stools at the bench. "They might be a little cold," Tara told her apologetically, "sorry. I took them off a little while ago."

"Oh, I can warm them up!" Willow offered, raising her hand to perform a spell on the food. Buffy, sensing an opportunity to nip Willow's excessive use of magic in the bud before it got so out of control that Tara left her, grabbed Willow's wrist with a reflex that Willow wasn't expecting. She jumped about a foot in the air. "Buffy?"

"You… really shouldn't use magic for such little things, Wil." Buffy said as gently as she could, trying to sound friendly and conversational. "If they're cold, I'll do what everyone else does, and use the microwave." She poked her pancakes, finding them warm enough and slathering them with maple syrup.

"But it's no problem." Willow frowned.

"It's not a problem _now_." Buffy popped a piece of pancake with syrup in her mouth, savouring Tara's cooking before going on. "But magic should be a last resort, not a quick fix-it. The pancakes are fine, and I'm really okay using the microwave."

"I only wanted to help…" Willow frowned, looking a little put out.

"Buffy's right, sweetie." Tara dished up the burnt pancakes and turned off the stove, sitting across from Buffy as she drowned her overcooked breakfast in more syrup than was really necessary, in an effort to mask the charcoal taste. "Magic shouldn't be used for every little thing." She gave Buffy a small, grateful smile. Apparently Tara had already been sensing that Willow was using too much magic. Buffy mentally frowned – she might have a little more work to do than she originally planned in that department.

Dawn slipped onto the stool next to Buffy, staring at her sister in wonder. Buffy felt all eyes on her (and, in truth, was a little irked by it), but did her best to ignore it – she just kept reminding herself that, just because she'd already lived this and her being alive was old news to her, it was still kind of a new thing for the others. She inwardly winced at the idea that they believe they had dragged her out of Hell; she _certainly_ wasn't going to tell them that she'd been in Heaven before she was resurrected (she still wished, in her weaker moments, that she'd never been brought back, but was mostly okay with the idea that she'd returned to the world of the living for a reason – and she was in no hurry to leave it), but she wasn't going to _lie_ to them and say she'd been tormented in a Hell dimension. She'd have to take care of that misconception when Xander and Anya got there, but she supposed she'd manage to come up with something.

She finished her pancakes and was rinsing her and Tara's dishes when Xander and Anya entered the back door. Raising her eyebrows to Dawn, as if to say 'is this normal now?', she put the dishes down and launched herself at the two, enveloping them in a three-way hug. She felt them hesitantly return it, pulling back with a smile. Like Tara, Buffy was going to have to adjust to Anya being alive again. "Hey, guys."

"Hi, Buff." Xander said uneasily, looking from Willow to Tara as if to ask them something. Willow beamed.

"You're certainly very happy this morning." Anya blurted in her usual fashion. "One would think that, after being tormented in Hell, you'd be a little more withdrawn." Buffy blinked at Anya, casting her gaze around the room. Everyone was looking at Anya with varying degrees of shock or anger. She seemed to notice this too. "What? I'm only saying what everyone's thinking."

Buffy chuckled, taking her seat again. "Guys, I…" she frowned, fiddling with her hands, wondering how to put it as delicately as possible, "…I wasn't in Hell."

The four involved with the resurrection spell all seemed to shift uneasily, looking at each other worriedly. "You weren't?" She could hear a touch of fear in Willow's voice.

"I don't think so." She shook her head. She knew she had to be as vague as possible, so as to not alert them to her future knowledge, but she wasn't going to lie to them either. "Wherever I… I was… it was… cold." She settled on. "I felt numb, unfeeling. I wasn't tormented or anything, but I was alone." She looked up at them, wondering how else she could describe her emotional state in the time that she'd come from. "I was so lonely." She felt tears in her eyes, brushing them away without a thought. "I was just so disoriented last night, and scared from having to… to dig…" she broke off there, still having trouble taking about digging her way out of her own grave even five years later, "…and then, with all the demons on top of that… but now that I've had some rest and all those things are over, I'm just feeling… glad that I'm here, and everything's okay, you know? And I wanted to… to thank you guys _so_ much for…" she choked up, unable to continue – even though the speech was, in fact, a lie, the essence of it was based in truths that got her emotional. She _was_ lonely in her time.

"Oh, Buffy…" Willow breathed, rounding the bench to wrap her arms around her best friend.

One by one, she felt Xander, Dawn, Tara and Anya join the hug, and they were all crying and laughing at the same time. Buffy felt on top of the world – all her Scoobies were back with her now, and she'd be damned if she let any of them go this time around. All she needed was to see Giles for a little while, and Spike, and she felt like she could handle anything that the altered time threw her way.

"So," she managed to calm herself down, wiping her eyes as the group hug dissipated, "what are you two doing over so early in the morning?"

"Oh, we were attacked by a demon or a ghost or something last night." Anya shrugged, dabbing her own cheeks (of them all, Buffy was surprised that Anya had cried – she hadn't expected her to be the type) with a paper towel. "We came over for a Scooby meeting to figure out how to kill it."

"Are you guys okay?" Buffy frowned.

"No, no, we're fine." Xander waved it off. "Nothing to worry yourself over, Buff. We can handle it."

"Y-yeah, you shouldn't w-worry about it." Tara nodded. "Get some m-more rest and we'll f-figure out what it i-is."

"Don't be silly." Buffy frowned at them. "I slept like a log last night. I can help. What happened?"

Of course, Buffy already knew what was terrorizing her friends – that Thaumogenesis thing that had created the demon when she was brought back had been explained to her by Willow and Tara last time around. But, she listened patiently as they explained the odd occurrences during the night, remembering to add the bit about the photos in her room the night before. They spent the morning hanging around outside discussing theories, before they all decided to squish into Xander's car to commence research at the Magic Box. Anya needed to open the store anyway.

* * *

Buffy decided to plead restlessness after about four hours of research, retiring to the back room to go a few rounds with the punching bag. There was something cathartic about unleashing her energies on the inanimate object, pulverizing it with repeated blows. She didn't worry about her non-contribution to the research; Willow would find the Thaumogenesis entry and make the demon solid, and then she would kick it's ass, just like before.

She wondered what she was going to do about the nerd trio. She didn't remember the exact date that they robbed the Sunnydale Museum (except that it was shortly before she and Spike started sleeping together), so it would be a stretch to get them arrested for that. What was it…? Two, three months away? So unless she camped outside the museum, it was unlikely that she would catch them in the act.

Maybe she could confront them early and threaten them to within an inch of their lives if they did anything; she knew that Warren in particular had a thing against strong women, but Jonathon and Andrew were easily swayed. Maybe… maybe she could get Willow and Tara to agree to train Jonathon in magic in exchange for his help? And Andrew… well, Andrew was a pain in the ass, but if she could get him involved in the research side of things, the extra brain wouldn't be so terrible. Especially if anything else cropped up.

Warren would be the hard nut to crack. And, to be honest, she wanted nothing more than to throttle the little bastard, after everything that he'd done to her and her friends. She knew that he was intimidating Andrew and Jonathon into doing what he wanted, and they were practically harmless without him. And she knew that Andrew had what it took to be a Watcher, so maybe she'd set him up with Giles to begin training early to subvert any attempts that Warren made to get his friends back. One under her influence and the other across the world would likely put a dampener on Warren's plans for domination.

She was so deep in her musings about the nerd trio that she almost didn't notice Dawn slip into the training room. She could sympathise with how bored the fifteen year old was, watching her friends pour over dusty old books that she wasn't allowed to look at, and with the awe that she was likely feeling at looking at her older sister after living for so long with a robot. Buffy had to keep reminding herself to not stare at Tara and Anya.

Buffy decided to speak when Dawn perched herself on the balancing horse on the opposite side of the room. "Bit dull in there, huh?"

"A little." Dawn admitted in a small voice. "Anya treats me like I'm five years old." Buffy had noticed this. It irked her a little more this time around, realising that she had been Dawn's age when _she_ first began to fight vampires; no, Dawn was most definitely _not_ a child anymore. Not to mention that Buffy knew Dawn's potential at the research table, given the chance.

Buffy made a snap decision; one that, hopefully, would prevent Halfrek from targeting Dawn when she came to town for the wedding. She stopped her assault on the punching back and blinked at her sister. She needed to lead into this one. "You ok?"

"I'm fine." Dawn sounded like she was sulking. "Just bored. There's never anything to do here while you guys are doing research."

"Is there something you wanna do?" Buffy prodded, trying to get Dawn to admit to wanting to help.

"Not really." Dawn shrugged. "There's nothing I _can_ do around here anyway. Anya doesn't even let me help with the store like Giles used to." Buffy frowned. She'd definitely be talking to the Scoobies about treating Dawn more like an adult. She might have been defenceless when Glory had nabbed her, but in the grand scheme of things, it was really Buffy's fault that Dawn didn't know how to fight back.

Out of nowhere, she heard herself blurt; "D'you wanna learn how to fight?" She didn't know why this hadn't occurred to her earlier; she'd never taught Dawn to defend herself. She couldn't exactly make her into a mythical warrior like herself, but she could definitely teach her a few tricks to hold her own in a fight against an everyday, run-of-the-mill vampire (or a schoolyard bully or two) until help got there or she could get away.

Dawn blinked. "Really?" She asked after a few seconds, her tone betraying her enthusiasm. "You'd teach me?"

"Well, I wont teach you to be a street-brawler," Buffy grinned, "but basic self-defence? Sure. Lose the jacket."

* * *

Buffy was feeling good about this new activity with her sister when Willow stuck her head in to check on them a few hours later. Dawn's right-hook was still a little sloppy, but Buffy wasn't expecting the younger girl to have an innate ability for combat. She was satisfied that Dawn could at least block a punch aimed at her, but she didn't really have the strength for a full-out fight yet. That would change.

"Hey guys." Willow interrupted. "How're things?"

"Great!" Dawn chirped. "Buffy's been teaching me stuff." She was a little tired, but she was pleased to be doing something with her older sister for once. Buffy felt slightly guilty that she hadn't made more time for Dawn before then, and felt even worse when she looked out the window; it was getting dark.

"Um, I gotta patrol." Buffy deliberately didn't face Dawn, imagining the crestfallen look that she was receiving.

"But we were having fun! Can't it wait?" Dawn begged, a whining edge in her tone.

"It's getting toward midnight… I really have to patrol." Buffy insisted. "Sorry, Dawnie." She grabbed her own jacket and flung it over her shoulder, grabbing her bag from the research table in the main room. "Will you be okay here with these guys?" She asked her sister pointedly.

Dawn was sulking. "I guess."

"Wil, can you grab Dawn a book?" Buffy asked offhandedly, hoping to be casual about it.

"A research book?" Willow looked at Tara and back up Buffy. "Are-are you sure, Buffy? I mean, isn't Dawn a little—"

"She's just as old as I was when I started fighting vampires." Buffy shrugged. "I'm not saying I'm gonna let her patrol with me or anything, but I think she can handle looking at some gory pictures. Right, Dawn?"

Dawn was looking like Christmas had come early. "Right. I can _totally_ handle research." The younger girl assured the rest of them. Buffy felt a stab of guilt that she'd been so shut out of such a large part of her life. While she wasn't ready to become a fully-fledged Scooby, it was probably best to start to include Dawn in the more mundane activities of the group. At least that way she wouldn't feel too alienated and would be marginally useful.

"There ya go, Wil." Buffy dug through her purse for her stake. Clutching it, she gave Dawn a one-armed hug and practically skipped to the door. "I'll see you guys at home, 'kay?" She didn't wait for a response before slipping through the door and out into the night.

* * *

"Buffy is acting weird." Anya pointed out the second the door snapped behind her. "I don't think the spell went right. I still think we screwed it up."

"No you didn't!" Dawn protested, jumping to Buffy's defence. "Just because she's happy and wants to include me now doesn't mean that she's… she's wrong, or anything!"

"It's just… odd, that Buffy suddenly wants you to do research." Xander supplied kindly. "I mean, she was so against you helping out before… er… before Glory and now all of a sudden she wants to bring you into the Scoobies? It's not right. Something's up."

"M-maybe what happened made Buffy realise th-that sheltering Dawn f-from these things wont stop th-them from affecting her." Tara considered in a low voice, not feeling right to disagree with the group. "J-just because she doesn't let Dawn do… do research doesn't mean that a d-demon wont attack her."

"Exactly!" Dawn jumped on that bandwagon. "Just because she kept me out of the loop last time didn't mean Glory didn't get to me."

There was an uneasy silence as Willow procured a book for Dawn to read.

* * *

Buffy hesitated outside Spike's crypt. She had a dual purpose in coming here; the main reason she came was to pass the time until they found the demon – the other was to relieve any guilt that Spike was feeling. She knew that Spike and Dawn had taken her death hardest, and he was likely still worried about her after he'd left the house last night. And besides, she didn't really feel like being alone, and Spike probably had the need to let off some steam. She'd invite him to patrol with her.

She decided against knocking and pushed the door open, knowing that he'd likely be downstairs. She was laughing at the crude electrical wiring – extension cords and power boards stealing power from who-knew-where – when she spied the bleach-blonde emerging with a giant knife half-concealed behind his back. "I hope you're not planning on using that." She quipped, amusement colouring her tone.

He stared at her for a moment before placing the knife down on the sarcophagus. He seemed struck dumb by her appearance. "Hello, Spike." She said softly, with a small smile.

"Hi, Buffy." He answered dreamily, as if he didn't quite believe what he was seeing. She sympathised; she felt like her body was humming all over in his presence. It had been so long since she'd seen him last, burning from the inside out in the Hellmouth; just over three years.

"What happened to your hand?" She spied blood on his knuckles.

"Huh?" He snapped out of his daze, glancing at his knuckles as if he'd forgotten all about his injury. "Oh, nothing. How're yours?"

"Fine." She hadn't counted on things being so awkward (she hadn't really thought this through at all, really, other than the simple desire to see him), desperately casting her eyes around. "I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to… to come patrolling with me tonight?" She blurted, mentally smacking herself. She used to be able to speak with Spike so easily.

"You sure you're up to patrolling?" He asked in concern – she appreciated it, but she was all concerned-out from her friends.

She gave him a stern look. "Would I be out here if I felt like I couldn't handle slaying a few vamps?" She sighed. "To be honest, I'm a bit restless. We've been in research mode all day. I feel like I need to do something more productive."

"I see." He looked behind him. "Well, ah, let me get my coat and we can be on our merry way, then."

She waited by the door, rocking back and forth on her heels as she waited for him to come back from downstairs. To be honest, she was mildly surprised that he hadn't made a sexual comment when she'd confessed to being restless – then she reminded herself that he'd only started making advances after Sweet had been to town… and that was something that she was planning to avoid. She'd already covertly found and destroyed the amulet earlier that day so that Xander couldn't invoke it later. She had no desire to blurt out that she was from the future in some random song.

"Alright then, let's go." Spike emerged, wrapping a bandage one-handed over his bloody knuckles. She held the door open for him and followed him back out into the graveyard.

They walked in silence for a while before Spike spoke up again. "Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her." He paused. Buffy, remembering this speech, opened her mouth to reply, but he kept ploughing onward before she could respond. "If I had done that… even if I didn't make it… you wouldn't have had to jump."

"I know you did everything you could, Spike." Buffy answered softly. "I couldn't ask for anything more than your best."

"But it wasn't bloody well enough." He growled. "The sodding ceremony _still_ started, and you… you had to…"

"Hey." Buffy stopped, pulling him to a halt. "I did what I had to do, because I _knew_ it would be alright in the end. What happened on that tower was no one's fault. And you _did_ protect her, didn't you? After that? I know you were the one looking after her last night. You protected her from those demons. You kept your promise."

He grumbled something else self-depreciatory as they continued their walk, but Buffy chose to ignore it in favour of a few fledglings that she spied over to the left of the graveyard. Nudging Spike she pointed to the band of three and the two of them raced silently toward them; Buffy had staked one before the other two knew that they were under attack.

All in all, it wasn't a very impressive fight. They were 'new' in the truest sense of the word; they pretty much lasted all of ten minutes, flailing around as Spike and Buffy wailed on them, taking out their frustrations on the unfortunate undead. Buffy was only feeling marginally better as she staked her vamp, tossing the stake to Spike to finish off his.

"Well that sucked." Buffy sulked, catching the stake tossed back at her. "Barely even put up a fight."

Spike chose not to comment, instead watching her to check that she was, indeed, alright. She adjusted her jacket with a slight yawn, thinking that it must have been getting closer to sunrise; it took an hour and a half to walk from the Magic Box to Spikes crypt, and they'd already been patrolling for – she checked her watch – an hour. She had about an hour and a half to get home.

"One more graveyard, I think." She sighed, stretching her neck. "Then I gotta head home."

"You'll wanna avoid Catchment." Spike called after her as she began to walk away. Turning to blink at him curiously, he faltered. "It's, er, full of vamps. Buggers nearly got me last time I took a bloody shortcut."

"Well, then I know where I'm going at sunset tomorrow, don't I?" Buffy scowled. She was under the impression that the Scoobies and Buffybot were keeping the vampire population _down_. She knew that Spike had been patrolling a little when she'd been newly resurrected, so as to cut down on the vampires that could actually take her on (she didn't call him on it, but who else could it have been? She knew vampire dust when she saw it), and she didn't remember a horde of them at the Catchment Cemetery last time around. Spike must have handled it.

The next cemetery housed another four vampires that were little more of a challenge than the others. They were done and dusted within a few minutes, and Buffy was left scowling and spitting, trying to get rid of the vampire dust that a sudden gust of wind had blown into her face.

"Ugh, that's disgusting." She complained.

Spike was slightly amused. "C'mon, luv. That can't be the first time you've swallowed vampire dust."

Buffy glared at him. "Well, no, but it's still icky." She sighed, wiping her mouth and brushing off her clothing.

"You'll live." Spike shook his head in wonder. "Gettin' close to sunrise." He jerked his chin at the Eastern horizon. Buffy could see a faint pink tinge at the edge of the skyline; her cue to get home.

"Er, yeah." She pursed her lips. "Um, thanks for coming with me tonight. I… didn't really feel like being alone." At least that wasn't a lie.

"Anytime." He replied. "I, er, better get back to the crypt before the sun completely rises. Poof, flames, that sorta thing."

"Yeah, you should, um, do that. I'll see you around, I guess." Buffy waved a little as they separated, shaking her head in embarrassment. She checked her watch – roughly fifteen minutes to get home.

She jogged, irritated that she hadn't worked off all the tension that had been building all day. The novelty of being in the past was starting to wear off, and she was now faced with some real dilemmas.

Spike was going to be a big challenge. She very much wanted to be with him, but she was worried about all the problems that they'd have without his soul. She _knew_ she had roughly a year and a half before his chip would need attention – and then there was the issue of wether or not Riley would agree to _have_ it looked at without his soul. He had an annoying tendency to think that every vampire equals evil (much like Xander, Buffy realised with a grimace). So, if Riley agreed, she would be repairing the chip; she still felt that it was wrong to have him muzzled like that, but she wasn't stupid. She'd realised that, in order for Spike to _know_ the chip didn't work on _only_ her, he'd had to have attacked some people. That thought made her stomach sink. She really _had_ been sleeping with a monster that would attack a human as soon as look at them, apparently. No matter how much she _knew_ he loved her. Or how much he changed after that (but really, Buffy reminded herself, he hadn't really changed. He just became more docile, which – being completely honest – was a little boring).

But then, she asked herself, why would he have let her live? If he were truly a man-eating monster on a leash, surely he would have taken advantage of anything that foolishly wandered into arms reach? Or was she just 'lucky' enough to have been 'dark' enough to make him see her as a person rather than a 'Happy Meal on legs'? She briefly contemplated staking him, but threw out the idea almost immediately. She didn't think she could handle that. Sure, if it came down to it and she had no other option, she'd do it, but she really didn't want to.

Her second problem was money. She did _not_ think she could handle working at the Double Meat again. She could probably bully the Watcher's Council into providing her with a phoney job title and a salary; she was an adult, and her duties as a Slayer interfered with everyday life. She'd discuss it with Giles when he got back.

She reached her house in record time, carefully opening the door and poking her head in. Stopping at her weapons chest, she grabbed her most sturdy axe and crept toward the stairs. She wasn't sure if it was back yet.

She was in luck; Xander's car was just pulling up outside, which meant that Willow and Tara's spell was just coming into effect. She could avoid all the awkward fumbling around with the non-corporeal demon. It was even waiting for her in the dining room, rather than the bedroom.

She dodged the misty thing, waiting until the exact moment when the solidifying spell came into effect. It was hurling taunts at her; stuff she'd heard before and was unfazed by, unlike last time. She knew she was back for a reason, and nothing some spook-demon was going to say was going to convince her otherwise; especially when she'd already killed it before.

She didn't even take notice of Dawn, Xander and Anya in the doorway, blubbering amongst themselves at the demon. Normally, she'd have yelled at Dawn to split, _stat_, but she was too preoccupied with not breaking anything (she was well aware of the repair costs and that she barely had a dime at the present moment) to worry about her sister – who was safe anyway, since there was only one demon and it was focused on her.

Then it solidified, taking on the same awful visage of a rotting corpse as last time. She ducked under its swing and over a kick, backing up until she had it in the living room. With one violent wrench of her axe, she decapitated the thing, sighing in relief as it dropped to the floor and disappeared in the same kind of mist as it had appeared. Shouldering her axe, she finally spared the other three a glance. "Hey, guys."

"That's… probably the kinda thing I'm not s'posed to see, right?" Dawn whimpered to Xander from behind him. Buffy almost laughed as Anya awkwardly patted the fifteen year old on the shoulder, not certain how to comfort her after the trauma of seeing a decapitation.

Buffy grinned. "C'mon Dawnster," she jerked her head toward the stairs, "shower and _bed_. You can skip school tomorrow. I feel like shopping." She knew she still had a little money in a private account that no one else knew about, which was for emergencies only – and the fact that every single piece of clothing she owned was _so_ not her current taste was considered a pretty big emergency to her (well, honestly she just wanted to spend time with her sister, but there was the issue of feeling comfortable in what she wore, too).

Dawn looked baffled. But, like the typical teenager she was, she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth; a free day from school to go shopping was a free day from school to go shopping, no matter what way you spun it. She sprinted up the stairs without being told twice, no doubt worrying that Buffy might change her mind if she lingered too long.

"You okay, Buff?" Xander asked.

"Peachy with a side of keen." Buffy used the towel from her weapons chest to wipe off the blood on the axe before replacing it. "Thanks for bringing Dawn home, by the way. You should probably go home and get some rest." Willow and Tara would likely sleep at the Magic Box and make their way home come daylight.

"Are you sure?" Anya asked point blank. "You're not usually this happy after killing a demon."

"An, honey…" Xander sighed.

"I'm good, really." Buffy reassured them shooing them away. "Just tired. I'm gonna shower after Dawn and get some sleep. Been awake almost twenty four hours, patrolling, killing demons; y'know, that kinda thing."

"Right." Xander nodded, already dragging Anya out the door. "Well, call, if you, you know, need anything."

"I got that the first ten times you said it at the Magic Box." Buffy nodded slowly, obviously humouring them. "Night, guys."

"Night Buffy." Xander finally turned around and joined Anya in heading to the car.

Buffy shut the door behind them with a sigh, letting the happy face drop. Everyone was so _concerned_. That was going to get _real_ tiring, _real_ fast. She had to find a way to shift their attention from her to something else. Like, _money_, for instance.

An idea occurred to her; her head shot up. Why hadn't she thought of that _last _time? 


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or anything associated with it. All rights to _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and affiliated products belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc.

**Summary:** Buffy knew to be careful of what she said to strangers when in pain; but no one warned her that vengeance demons were eavesdroppers and granted wishes that weren't expressed to them, though. "I wish I could go back in time and fix it." Spuffy

**Based on Episode:** 6x04 '_Flooded_'

**Rating:** M

**Pairings:** Spuffy, Tallow, Xanya

**Genre:** Adventure/Romance

* * *

**Buffy's Chance**

**Chapter Two**

Buffy had completely forgotten about the drippy pipe until Willow brought it up a few days later. Just the mention of it sent Buffy's brain running down the same path as before; all the financial trouble that she'd suffered, the indignity of working at the Double Meat Palace, having to support a household of four _on her own_.

Never. Again.

In the future, Buffy and Dawn shared a three-bedroom flat in London; they each pulled in their own income from working for the Watcher's Council, and lived quite comfortably – they weren't rich, but they could afford a few luxuries. She'd already blown most of her backup money on a new wardrobe (her new clothes had shocked Willow and Tara – but Dawn really liked them, and had even chosen a few – being mostly all blacks and dark reds, blues and greens, rather than the pastels and bright colours that she'd preferred prior to dying), and was looking forward to putting her new idea into motion.

So, when they sat her down to talk, after Tito the Plumber had given them a _huge_ bill, and they told her there were money issues, she rifled through the bills with a frown. She was really, _really_ annoyed at them.

"Okay… so you're telling me I'm broke?" She snapped, looking at them incredulously. Last time she hadn't really considered where all her money had gone, thinking it completely logical that her money had continued to run the house. Now that she had a few extra years to her credit (not that they knew about that), she wondered how she'd just sat there and taken it. Giles had been right; she'd been too happy to let other people make decisions for her. Not now, though. She would take charge of her life from that moment on, and not let them dictate what she had to do, like before. That led nowhere good.

Willow winced. "Not yet, but…"

"Money's definitely becoming an issue." Tara nodded.

"As in your being almost out of it." Xander supplied rather helpfully. That really grated Buffy's cheese. Who was he to get involved in this?

"But I haven't spent any money!" Buffy argued. "I've been in a hole in the ground." She slammed the bills down on the table, angry.

"I… I know this comes as a bit of a shock after… a bit of a shock… but it took us by surprise too." Willow defended.

Yeah, Buffy was sure it had. She surprised herself by feeling resentment for her friends. That was weird; she was really getting into this time period, with all the 'just being resurrected' stuff; Anya and Tara weren't even strange to her anymore.

Tara explained about her mother's life insurance and Xander and Willow jumped in about her hospital bills. While Anya was explaining about the house 'haemorrhaging' money, Buffy cast a glance at Dawn, who, oddly, looked just as resentful as Buffy felt – obviously _someone_ had noticed that Buffy was being cheated the first time around. She wondered why Dawn had never brought it up – and then realised that she was pretty much treated like a child and her input was never seriously considered in the first place. She likely hadn't known about the money troubles until just now, as well. Which was weird, since, with Buffy's death, the house would legally have been Dawn's.

It seemed Dawn had grown accustomed to asking questions rather than providing suggestions, knowing they'd never listen to her. "So… what do we do?" She asked. They all looked at Buffy expectantly.

Buffy skipped the stupid joke she'd made last time about the fire, and got straight down to business. "Well," she looked down at the pile of bills and then back up at Tara, Willow and Dawn, "I just don't understand why you guys have been living off _me_ while I was gone." She fixed Willow and Tara in particular with a steely glare. "I don't mind my money going to support Dawn, but I _never_ in a million years expected to have to support _you_ guys." She accused. "How much money have _you_ guys put toward the house since you decided to move in? Or did you just think 'Buffy wont mind, she's dead, and she'll be so grateful to us for bringing her back that she'll just let it slide'?" She spat, not bothering to keep the hostility out of her tone, noting with some dark satisfaction that they reeled back in shock. "Were you even consulted about them moving in? Or rent contribution?" She asked Dawn as an afterthought. "The house _was_ yours when I died."

"Hey, let's not get all accuse-y here!" Xander jumped in.

Buffy was having none of it. "This doesn't really have anything to do with you, Xander." She cut him off with a gesture. Willow and Tara looked at each other, shocked. "Well, Dawnie?" She looked back at her sister.

Dawn bit her lip. "No." She finally admitted in a terse voice. "They just announced that they were moving in and magicked out your bank numbers. I told them not to, but they did it anyway. I wanted Spike to move in, 'cause of his superpowers and all. Or Giles, 'cause he's like, like our Dad and everything, but I wasn't even asked." She sneered at Willow.

"I-it's not like she's making it sound!" Willow tried to defend herself and her girlfriend from the accusations. "We couldn't let _Spike_ live in your house, Buffy! Not with just the Buffybot! We were only thinking of Dawnie! She needed someone sensible to look after her!"

Buffy agreed there, and said so; Spike wasn't the most sensible full-time caretaker in the world, even if he was a suitable bodyguard. But still. "What about Giles?" She snapped. "Generally Watchers look after dependants in their Slayer's care when a Slayer is gone."

"Giles said he was leaving—" Xander cut in again.

Buffy cut him off. "Again." She snapped. "None of your business. This is between me, Dawn, Willow and Tara. You and Anya aren't really concerned by the money sitch in this house. I do appreciate your help going through the bills though, thank you." She added kindly to Anya, who smiled brightly and went back to work, unperturbed by the ugly argument brewing in the room.

"This has nothing to do with Dawn." Willow argued. "She's just a kid."

"The hell it doesn't!" Buffy snapped. "When I died, the house, my money, my _everything_ went to her." She growled. "And _you_ just _decided_ that you were gonna move in and mooch off of her and say you were _thinking_ of her? How the hell does this have nothing to do with her?" She demanded waspishly. "You took advantage of a fifteen-year-old girl, and the thing that makes me the angriest is that you seem to believe that you were _entitled_ to it."

Dawn was staring at her sister with shock in her eyes, her expression something akin to awe; Willow, Tara and Xander were staring at her in horror like she'd grown a second head (Anya was still happily bent over the bills). Usually, whenever it came to a conflict between Dawn and the Scoobies, the Scoobies always gained Buffy's favour. Always. But this was different. The longer this conversation took, the angrier Buffy got, as she kept thinking things that she hadn't realised last time.

"That's n-not what happened." Tara insisted.

"Oh, yeah?" Buffy's voice was crisp. "Then _what_, exactly, happened? Please, tell me, because I'm finding it really hard to understand your thought processes in this." She demanded, her glare withering.

"We wanted to look after Dawnie." Willow was frowning, trying to understand why Buffy was so angry. She honestly had thought that Buffy would be pleased that they'd moved in to look after Dawn. "And the easiest way to do what was to, to move in. And, and neither of us have jobs, since we're still in college, so…"

"So…?" Buffy prompted. "It didn't occur to you to maybe get a part-time job for when you're _not_ in class?" She raised her eyebrows at them. "Of course not," she scoffed, throwing her hands up into the air, "instead, you used magic to make _every_thing easier for yourself. I don't see a single contribution from you guys here." She indicated the bills. "You accessed Dawns _extremely_ limited funds, which was only _just_ enough to support two people for _maybe_ a year until I'd have to find work, and wasted it on _your_ school and magic stuff in _addition_ to Dawn's needs." She rubbed the bridge of her nose as Dawn gingerly sat next to Buffy, as if to show whose side she was on. "Like I said; I don't mind using that money for Dawn. But it was never meant for you and Tara, Willow. I wouldn't have let you use it if I were here."

They stared at her for a moment before looking at each other. Dawn seemed to be the first to find her voice. "Are… are you kicking them out?" She asked, half hopefully, half fearfully.

Buffy exhaled sharply. "No, of course not." She shook her head before giving Willow and Tara a sharp look. "Look, I'm glad you guys have been looking after Dawn, and I like that you're living here. Really. But, you guys… you can't just take what you want from us. You _have_ to start paying rent. I'm not saying you have to pay for everything yourselves, 'cause you're not the only people living here and using stuff, but I just _can't_ support you."

Xander decided to try his luck again. "Don't you think you're… iunno… being a little ungrateful?"

"Ungrateful?" Dawn spat, disbelieving.

Xander quailed a little under Buffy's glare, but pushed on. "Well… yeah. I mean, Willow and Tara _did_ help to bring her back from the dead…"

"And I _am_ grateful." Buffy's voice was softer now. "More grateful than you could _ever_… but I'm just being realistic here. They didn't do me and Dawn any favours by using all our money."

"We're… we're sorry." Willow's voice was small.

"We really are. We'll find p-part time jobs." Tara nodded emphatically. "And, and we'll p-pay you rent, Buffy. W-we just didn't th-think about it."

"Good." Buffy exhaled, looking back at the pile of bills. "And in the meantime, I need to get some income of my own."

"Oh, I know where you can get that!" Anya piped up. Everyone looked at her; Buffy had to bite down the grin that threatened to surface at the memory of Anya's idea of 'cashing in'; it was close enough to what Buffy was planning, so she let Anya rabbit on about her idea. "Um, if you wanna pay every bill here, and every bill coming, and have enough to start a nice college fund for Dawn; start charging."

Buffy pretended to be perplexed. "For what?"

"Slaying vampires!" Anya answered enthusiastically. She ignored Xander's embarrassment as she continued happily. "You're providing a valuable service to the whole community. I say cash in!"

"Well…" Buffy started slowly, "that's actually… not a bad idea."

"_What_?" Dawn spluttered from next to Buffy. "You can't charge innocent people for saving their lives!"

"I'm not talking about charging the people of Sunnydale." Buffy shook her head. "But, seriously, what about the Watcher's Council?" She argued. "They… they were paying Giles to be my _Watcher_, but they were never paying me to be a _Slayer_? C'mon, how is that fair? I think they should pay me, since being a Slayer means I'll never be able to get a decent job. Plus, I could go back to college when the next semester starts and not have to worry about tuition fees."

"That actually makes a lot of sense." Willow's eyes were wide. "We can talk about it with Giles when he gets back. I'm sure he'll see it the same way!"

* * *

Buffy gave the excuse of wanting to take a walk that day to keep an eye out for the M'Fashnik demon that was going to rob the bank. The fight was just as brief as the last time; the demon took a beating and took off after the bank was cleaned out of cash. Buffy called a Scooby meeting and the lot of them convened in the Magic Box (Xander left at around three to pick up Dawn from school), and they'd spent the afternoon researching demons.

Buffy had slammed her book shut, fed up with searching for something that she already _knew_ about, when Dawn found the demon. She was just about to announce that she was going to go on patrol when the door of the store opened.

Buffy looked up to see Giles; a younger version than the one she knew, and who hadn't done all the things that had made her resent him – it was this younger version that she rushed to and embraced, having missed him more than she could tell over the years. Before he got hard and cold, and started treating her like a child again. Before she'd shut the door in his face telling him that there was nothing else he could teach her after he'd tried to set up to have someone she cared about killed.

"Oh, God, Buffy!" He murmured, crushing her to him. "You're alive. You're here." He breathed reverently, as if he couldn't quite believe it. Buffy must have squeezed him a little tighter than necessary, because he managed to chuckle and say "And you're still… remarkably strong."

"Huh?" She blinked. "Oh! Sorry." She let him go and stepped back for him to appraise.

There were tears in his eyes. "Willow told me, but I didn't let myself believe it." He shook his head in wonder, his hands on her shoulders.

"I don't think _any_one really believes it yet." Buffy managed to laugh; she thought she was done with her big emotion-fest that day – her anger in the living room had drained her, but apparently there were still some emotional juices flowing. "We're just kinda… getting back into the normal swing of things."

"It's…" Giles shook his head in disbelief, "you're…"

"A miracle?" She guessed, amused.

"Yes." Giles nodded. He put his hand on the side of her face, smoothing across her cheek and tucking a stray hair behind her ear in a gesture so tender that it almost made Buffy cry. "But then I always thought so."

* * *

The two of them relocated to the back room in order to have a private conversation at Giles' request. Buffy sat on the couch, looking up at him expectantly. He sighed and gave the punching bag a tap with the back of his hand. "So…"

Buffy remembered this conversation. "I can start?" She offered from her seat. "How was England? Or… life, in general?" She asked.

"Er, not too bad." He admitted. "I, uh… arrived home, met with the Council…"

"Always a good time." Buffy scoffed.

"Yes." Giles shook his head with a small smile, knowing Buffy's dislike for them. "Otherwise, there's nothing really to report. I, um… keep a flat in Bath. I… met with some old friends. Almost made a new one, which I think is statistically impossible for a man of my age…" He took off his jacket and dropped it on the couch arm.

"And now you're back." Buffy concluded.

"Yes." His voice was devoid of emotion.

Buffy laughed. "Giles, are you miserable about it," she teased, remembering saying this, "or just _really_ British?"

He removed his glasses and sat down on the couch next to her. "I can't lie to you, Buffy." He began. "Um… leaving Sunnydale was difficult." He said, cleaning his glasses on his sweater. "And, uh… coming back is…"

"Overwhelming?" Buffy guessed. She knew she couldn't get away with using the word 'bewildering', since it just wasn't one that she used.

"Yes. Quite." He agreed, replacing his glasses on his face.

"I felt like that, too, my first night back." She murmured, even now remembering what it was like that first night, climbing through the earth to fresh air; fighting all those demons; not understanding what was happening. "But I'm doing better now." She assured him, knowing that he was going to ask about her. "I'm jumping back into life; y'know, the world doesn't stop turning and all that stuff…"

"You seem to be doing remarkably well, given your… extraordinary circumstances." Giles praised her. "I'm proud of you."

If he only knew _how_ extraordinary, Buffy inwardly laughed. "Thanks." She patted his knee. "I was, uh," she looked away, "just about to start prepping to go out on patrol when you came in." She admitted. "Slayage, and all that." She stood, having stood about as much awkward conversation as she could.

"Yes," he stood, "there is always that, isn't there?"

"Yup." She'd decided that she _really_ hated being the only Slayer, but it was a small price to pay, she figured.

* * *

Buffy helped make up the sofa for Giles when she got home from patrol; he, Dawn, Willow and Tara had arrived five minutes after she did. She'd brought up her financial troubles with him briefly, and he'd promised to help her go through the bills in the morning. After thanking him, she'd snuck out of the house and around to the back to eavesdrop on Willow and Giles, knowing that they'd be in the kitchen – she knew they had some kind of confrontation last time, and she was wondering what it was about. She'd been too wrapped up in her depression last time to pay attention after a certain point; now that her head was clear she was eager to find out what exactly happened.

"…good talk with Buffy?" She heard Willow ask as she came round and stood in a blind spot on the back porch, wrapping a heavy coat around her shoulders. She could see their shadows against the wall, but they couldn't see her.

"Yes, now she's back."

"Isn't it awesome?" Willow sounded full of self-confidence, which, after this morning, was weird for Buffy to hear. Willow had been mousey and shy around her all day.

"Mm." Giles sounded less than thrilled. Buffy wondered why. "Tell me about the spell you performed." He demanded. Then Buffy realised that he was angry with Willow for doing something so dangerous; that made sense.

Willow seemed not to hear the danger in Giles' voice. "Oh, okay." She agreed happily. "First of all, _so_ scary." Even though she didn't sound as if she'd been frightened at all. "Like… the Blair Witch would have had to watch like this." Buffy could only imagine 'like how', not being able to see whatever gesture Willow was making. "And, and, and, this giant snake came out of my mouth, and there was all this energy crackling, and this pack of demons interrupted, but I _totally_ kept it together." Was it just Buffy, or was Willow wounding awfully arrogant? "And then, next thing you know; Buffy." She could hear the shrug in Willow's voice, which made her angry. As far as she was concerned, Buffy had done the _hard_ work; digging out of a six-foot deep grave was far more frightening in her opinion. It was a mark of Willow's newfound arrogance that she didn't even mention this minor slip-up in her planning to Giles.

She had to strain to catch Giles' response, but it sounded like "You're a very stupid girl."

"What?" Willow sounded confused. "Giles…"

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Giles demanded. "The forces you've harnessed; the lines you've crossed?"

"I… I thought you'd be impressed, or something." Willow's voice was getting smaller by the minute.

Giles was saying something, but no matter how hard she listened, Buffy could only catch the tail end. "…made a very deep impression." He was growling. "Of everyone here," he continued, "_you_ were the one that I trusted most to respect the forces of nature."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?" Willow sounded crestfallen.

"Think what you've done to Buffy." Giles told her.

"I… I brought her back."

"At incredible risk!" He snapped.

"Risk?" Willow echoed. "Of what? Making her deader?" She bit out sarcastically.

"Of killing us all," Giles began to list, "unleashing Hell on Earth. Shall I go on?"

"No!" She turned to face the door, seeing Willow's shadow begin to stand. Oh dear. This wasn't going anywhere good. Buffy had to admit, though; Giles had a point. Willow just refused to see it. "Giles, I did what I had to do." She insisted. "I did what nobody else _could_ do."

"Oh," she heard Giles' tone darken, "there are others in this world who can do what you did. You just don't wanna meet them."

"No, probably not," Willow admitted, "but… well, they're the bad guys. I'm not a bad guy." She insisted. "I brought Buffy back into this world, and, and maybe the word you should be looking for is 'congratulations'." Buffy almost audibly scoffed.

Giles was still talking. "Having Buffy back in this world makes me feel… indescribably wonderful," Buffy felt a rush of affection for her Watcher, "but I wouldn't congratulate you if you'd jumped off a cliff and happened to survive!"

"That's not what I did, Giles." Willow protested.

"You were lucky!" He snapped.

"I wasn't lucky." Willow's own voice darkened. "I was _amazing_. And how would you know? You weren't even _there_." She spat at him.

"If I had been," Giles growled, "I'd have bloody well stopped you! The magicks you channelled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand, and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!" There was a dull thump of a wet cloth against the sink.

"You're right." Willow's voice was still dark, and Buffy didn't think she was agreeing with Giles' assessment that she was lucky. "The magicks I used are very powerful. _I'm_ very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea for you to piss me off." Was she… _threatening_ Giles? Buffy was bug-eyed with shock. She _really_ needed to knock Willow off her high horse. She'd speak with Tara about it in the morning to see if maybe she could enlist the gentler witch in helping to bring Willow down from the clouds.

There was a very pregnant pause before Willow spoke again. "C'mon, Giles… I don't wanna fight. Let's not, okay?" She pleaded. "I'll think about what you said, and, and you… try to be happy Buffy's back."

"Moving transdimensionally would leave a mark on a person." Giles said lowly. "We don't know what kinds of places she had to cross to come back here, or whatever the dimension she was in might have done to her. And, even though she seems normal, I'm far from convinced she's come out of all this… undamaged." He finished. There was a sound of a door shutting, and then another, indicating that both of them had left the kitchen. Buffy shifted her weight, freezing in the cold night.

A cigarette butt landed at her feet. She stomped it out with the ghost of a smile, turning to face the front. "Hello, Spike."

"You hear all that noise?" He asked, jerking his head toward the house.

"Yeah." Buffy nodded. "Giles has a point."

"Watcher-boy just wants to make sure everything's okay." Spike stepped forward. "You know he doesn't mean anything by it, luv."

"I know." Buffy sighed, stepping forward to sit on the stairs. Spike hesitated before she patted the space next to her, indicating that he could join her. He sat with catlike grace. "But Willow… she's worrying me." She admitted.

"Red can take care of herself." Spike shrugged.

"I know." Buffy sighed. "But she's… changing, and not in a good way." She started picking at her nails. It used to feel good to confide in Spike; she could get used to that again. "She's casting spells for the smallest things, and I mean… c'mon; _threatening_ Giles?" She shot Spike a look of disbelief. "The Willow I know would _never_ do that."

"It's the magicks." He shrugged. "Red's gettin' a taste of real power, and she likes it."

"I know." Buffy groaned.

They were silent for a while before Buffy asked, "Why are you here, anyway?"

Spiked shrugged, refusing to look at her. "Was just in the neighbourhood."

"You've been 'in the neighbourhood' for the last fifteen minutes." Buffy laughed. "I could smell the cigarettes."

"And yet, you still haven't kicked my ass." Spike observed with amusement.

Buffy chuckled. "I don't wanna have to explain to Dawn why I had to beat the crap out of her buddy."

Spike laughed. "Wouldn't want that, would we?" He winked at her.

She shook her head, her expression turning serious. "I'm expecting a demon attack at some point…" she sighed. He cocked his head with a frown. "There was an M'Fashnik demon at the bank today." She confided. "I was walking past and I saw it, so I kicked its ass." She sighed. "I'm sure it's gonna come back for me."

"You… want me to hang around? Give you a hand if it does show?" He offered.

Buffy knew it would be there any minute, so she shook her head. "Nah. It might show up in the day…" she looked at him. "And the gang's coming over tomorrow. I doubt you wanna be caught in the house with Xander and Giles, the anti-vamp brigade."

"There's always that." Spike admitted.

Buffy stood. "I'm just gonna go inside. It's getting really cold out here." She told him, opening the back door. "You wanna come in and see Dawn? She went upstairs earlier, but I think she's still up."

"Yeah, I could see the Bit, I reckon." Spike followed her inside. Buffy was in luck; Dawn was just coming down the stairs, which meant that the demon would be coming any second.

Spike was just engaging in an awkward conversation with Giles and Dawn when Buffy pretended to hear something. "You guys hear that?"

"No?" Spike shook his head. The other two shrugged.

"I heard something." She insisted, opening the door. The M'Fashnik was just coming up the street; it had yet to see them, checking the numbers on the letterboxes. "Dawn, Giles, get back." She warned. "Spike, grab me a weapon and meet me outside."

She stepped out into the lawn, where it finally noticed her. "Slayer!" It roared, lunging for her.

She ducked underneath the first swing, catching it with an uppercut on the return. He staggered backward, allowing her to punch him in the jaw and chest in quick succession, following up with a kick to the shin that sent him crashing down to the ground. He retaliated with a kick to the guts that winded her, sending her sprawling out on her back. He took advantage of her prone position to crawl on top of her and begin to strangle her, holding her arms down with his knees; she was beginning to see spots and was wondering what the hell was taking Spike so long when she felt the demon's weight fly off of her.

Spike had jumped into the fray with a mace, and was chasing the demon down and bludgeoning the creature into the ground while Buffy coughed and spluttered, trying to take in as much air as possible. She felt Dawn and Giles try to help her up, but she remained on her hands and knees, coughing as she breathed. She vaguely heard the fight on the lawn stop as Spike threw the mace to the ground next to the demon's unmoving head.

"You alright, Slayer?" He called.

"Fine!" She called out, having gotten her breathing under control. She let Dawn and Giles pull her upright. "S'it dead?" She asked.

"Bashed its skull in." Spike confirmed. "You three should get inside. I'll get rid of green 'n' ugly here." He kicked it.

Buffy wheezed out a thank you as the other two hovered around her to help her inside. She heard Spike grunting out the front as she deposited herself on the couch, waiting for Willow and Tara to come downstairs and let the inquisition begin.

* * *

Xander came around the next morning with Anya; Dawn was finishing breakfast, almost ready for Xander to take her to school. Anya gave Buffy a big smile as she cornered her in the hall and handed her an approximation of her debt, and Buffy froze, staring at the figures. They weren't as high as last time, since she didn't trash the house fighting M'Fashnik, but it was still very, very high.

"Thanks, Anya." She sighed. "Really."

"Have you talked to Giles about it, yet?" She asked happily. Money was always a subject that cheered Anya up.

"Not yet." Buffy shook her head. "But I will. Today." She gave a resolute nod, giving Anya a brief, awkward hug. "Thanks again." She indicated the bill with a flourish, cutting off whatever Anya was about to say with an "I gotta go" before heading into the kitchen. "You ready for school yet?" She asked Dawn, who was rinsing her bowl in the sink.

"Huh?" Dawn looked over her shoulder at Buffy's raised eyebrows. "Oh! Yeah. I was just about to take off." She put the bowl in the dish rack to dry, drying her hands and grabbing her school bag from the counter.

"Okay, have a good day." Buffy called as Dawn went into the hall.

"I will!" She called, closing the front door behind herself, Xander and Anya. Buffy sighed, sitting on a stool and waiting for Tara to come downstairs. Willow didn't have class until later in the day, and Tara had one in the late morning. She should be up soon.

"Was that Dawn leaving with Xander?" Tara came in a few minutes later, helping herself to some cereal and a bowl.

"Yup." Buffy nodded, yawning.

"You're up early." Tara observed.

"Wanted to talk to you before you left." She admitted, catching the witch's eye.

"Is, is this about the r-rent thing?" Tara asked timidly. "'Cause I swear, Buffy, we'll, we'll start p-paying you the second we get jobs—"

"It's not about that." Buffy shook her head. "It's… about Willow."

"What about her?" Tara sat down across the bench after putting the milk back in the fridge.

"You know what about." Buffy insisted. "I know you do."

Tara sighed. "The magic?"

"The magic." Buffy confirmed.

"It's, it's nothing." Tara assured her. "She's just p-proud of herself after… after bringing you back. Sh-she'll be okay."

"There's a difference between pride and conceit." Buffy looked Tara square in the eye. "Tara, she's using spells for everything. I saw her doing a spell to write out her homework the other day; she walks in the bathroom from one door in her pyjamas and walks out the other five seconds later cleaned, fully clothed, hair and makeup done; she calls things to her instead of taking three steps to get what she needs. It's not healthy."

"She was?"

"Yeah." Buffy sighed. "Tara, I… overheard her and Giles talking last night. Well… I eavesdropped on them, actually." She admitted with a silly grin. Tara chuckled a little. "Tara, how much do you know about the spell that brought me back?"

"N-not a lot." She admitted. "I mean, Willow w-was the one who did the research. We just got the materials."

"I did a little reading on it when you guys were in class the other day." Buffy lied. She _had_ done some reading on it about two years ago, when she got really curious about it, but she hadn't done any since she'd come back in time. Tara didn't need to know that. "Giles had a lot of valid concerns about the resurrection spell. Aside from changing my basic molecular structure, whatever that means, that Thaumogenesis demon was only one of, like, like a _zillion_ things that could have gone wrong."

"Willow's a g-good witch—" Tara started to defend, moving to stand.

"I know she is." Buffy reached across the table to lay her hand on Tara's, stopping the older girl from leaving. "But still, you didn't hear her last night." She caught Tara's eyes again. "She _threatened_ Giles, Tara. _Giles_."

"She did?" Tara breathed, sinking back into her seat. "W-what did she say?"

Buffy winced. "She, she was saying something about how the magic proved that she was very powerful, and she, she implied that Giles would find himself on the receiving end of it if he made her mad." She shook her head, still not quite believing it. "You didn't hear her, Tara… she sounded…"

"Extraordinarily arrogant?" A male voice cut in from the doorway.

Both girls snapped to look at Giles, Buffy flushing guiltily. "G-Giles!" She spluttered. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to have heard your concerns," Giles deposited himself on the stool next to Tara, taking off his glasses and polishing them on his shirt, "and to share them." He eyed her. "What do you mean, altered your basic molecular structure?" He asked in afterthought.

"I dunno." Buffy lied, shrugging. "I mean, I don't _feel_ any different than how I did before I died. I still need to eat, drink, sleep… use the bathroom. I was gonna ask Tara if she knew anything about it." She didn't mention it confusing Spike's chip, since he hadn't even had the chance to test that yet.

Tara shook her head. "I-I didn't know much about the sp-spell. I'll, I'll look into it when I get the chance." She promised. "And, and I'll talk to W-Willow."

"Thanks, Tara." Buffy stood, letting the witch eat her breakfast in peace. "Giles, can I talk to you in the living room?" She asked.

"Yes, of course." Giles clapped Tara on the shoulder with encouragement and followed Buffy into the hallway.

* * *

"D'you see what I mean?" Buffy eyed her Watcher in trepidation after she'd pitched the idea of a salary from the Council. She had no idea if he'd actually go for this.

He was cleaning his glasses again. "Well… yes, I, erm, I rather think I do." He admitted. "I shall contact the Council and, erm, pitch your case, I suppose."

Buffy hugged him. "I knew I could count on you." She sighed into his shoulder. "I'm doing everything I can, but we both know the Council never listens to me."

"Quite." Giles agreed, returning her hug. "Xander was telling me before that you don't seem to be yourself lately." He pulled away. "When they were attempting to speak to you about your… debt… yesterday. He said that you got extremely angry. Might I ask why?"

Buffy stood. "I don't believe this." She threw her hands up in the air as she began an agitated pacing. "Xander has no business sticking his nose into my private problems and broadcasting them to the world!"

"He was only concerned about you."

"I know he is." Buffy huffed. "But still, that was between me and the girls. He had nothing to do with it. Anya was only helping with the math because I _asked_ her to."

"They're all concerned for you, Buffy. They do it because they care."

"I know." Buffy scoffed. "They're all _so concerned_ that they spend all their time convincing themselves that something's wrong with me, and they can't see that I'm _fine_." She insisted. "I realise that coming back from the grave would be… would take some time." She admitted, shooting him an understanding glance. "But I also know that I'm not going to get back into the swing of things if I let people dictate my life and take advantage of me." She sat in an armchair across the table, looking at Giles again. "You know what I mean?"

"I do." Giles nodded. "Have you explained this to them yourself?"

"I keep telling them that I'm fine." She huffed, clasping her hands as she sat back into the chair, staring into the foyer. "They just don't believe me. The only one who really seems to think that I'm all right is Dawn." She chuckled a little, remembering how much more attached Dawn was to her now that actually went out of her way to spend time with her little sister. "After yesterday morning, I think they're scared of me. Especially Willow."

"Why?" Giles asked in a level voice. "What did you say to them?"

"I…" Buffy frowned, "I got angry a them for using my _private_ money to pay for themselves. That money was Dawn's, and they just took it from her without asking." She could feel a trickle of annoyance remaining from the conversation in question. "They made all these decisions for her. They took advantage of her vulnerability, Giles, and no one even listened to her or tried to help her." She gave him a strange look. "And I got angry at them and called them on it. I told them that they need to start paying me rent if they want to keep living here. I want them here – I really do – but I can't pay for them. I have to think of myself and Dawn first. I think Tara got where I was coming from, but I heard Willow complaining to her about it last night."

That had pissed her off most. Buffy and Willow both liked sleeping with the door open, and she had spent twenty minutes after going to bed listening to Willow complaining that Buffy wanted them to pay for the privilege of being woken in the middle of the night by random demon attacks. She had wanted to march into the master bedroom and assure them that they were perfectly welcome to move out if they didn't like the living conditions. She wasn't holding them there.

Giles blinked at her. "Well," he put his glasses back on, "it appears that you have your priorities in order, if nothing else." He admitted, sounding for all the world like a proud father.

Buffy looked at him strangely. "I thought you'd tell me I was being unreasonable." She admitted. "That you'd be like Xander and accuse me of being ungrateful to them."

"Of course not. You had every right to tell them that." Giles scoffed. "Of course your first priority should be your security and Dawn's welfare. I did try to step in for her when you… passed away… but they shut me out." He admitted. "I'm afraid that once they got into the house, I had no idea what was going on anymore."

"I had no idea what was going on in my _own_ house until yesterday morning." She scoffed. "I assumed that they'd been paying rent."

"It is a fair assumption." Giles admitted.

The ringing of the phone interrupted their conversation; Buffy had heard Tara go back upstairs a few minutes ago, so she excused herself from Giles and rose to answer it. "Hello?"

"_Buffy? Is that you?_"

"Hello, Angel." She closed her eyes. This was going to be hard. Angel was another person who her opinion of had changed over the years.

"_Oh, God. Willow told me that you were back, but…_"

"But you didn't believe it." Buffy finished for him. "Yeah, there's a lot of that goin' around these days."

"_Are you okay, Buffy? You sound angry._"

"I'm fine." She said through gritted teeth. "Was there something that you needed, Angel?"

"_I was hoping to see you…_"

"I really can't Angel." She ground out.

"_Why not? You don't have to come here. We could meet in Bakersfield, if you didn't wanna come all the way to L.A.—_"

"I can't, Angel." She repeated firmly. "Look," she sighed, "I'm just getting back on my feet. Seeing you now… well, it wouldn't be good for me." She told him straight up.

"_Why?_"

"I'm only just taking control of my life now." Buffy explained patiently. "Taking off to meet with an ex-boyfriend on impulse would just… it'd make it harder for my friends to take me seriously."

"_Then I can come there._" He offered.

"No, Angel." She snapped. "I don't want to see you." It may have been a little harsh, but it was true.

"_Buffy—? I don't understand._"

"Angel," Buffy sighed into the receiver. "I don't wanna burn bridges, okay? Look, I'll be here if you really need help with anything. Really, I will. But I can't just go and see you whenever, and you can't just drop everything and come here whenever you want to. We have responsibilities." She told him. "I'm fine, and I'm getting on with my life. You should do the same."

"_I see._" His voice was withdrawn now. "_Well, it was… it was nice to talk to you, Buffy._"

"Liar." She accused with amusement. "Admit it, I confused the hell out of you."

"_Well, yeah… but I get it. I really do. And you're right._" He conceded. "_We have our responsibilities. You can call me if you ever need anything._"

"I know." Buffy admitted in a low voice. "Thank you for calling Angel. Really."

"_No problem. Good luck Buffy._"

"Thanks. You too." She smiled. "Bye."

"_Bye._"

Buffy hung up with a small sound of amusement. Shaking her head, she went back into the living room to find Giles channel surfing. He muted the TV when she came back. "That was Angel. He wanted to make sure I was alright."

"Of course." Giles nodded. "You'll leave for L.A. tomorrow?"

"I'm not going anywhere." Buffy shook her head. "And he's not coming here. He wanted to see me, but I told him no. There's too much that I have to do, and I just… I don't want to see him."

"Oh." Giles continued to stare at her.

"So, anything good on?" Buffy asked, sitting next to him and staring at the television. 


	4. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or anything associated with it. All rights to _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and affiliated products belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc.

**Summary:** Buffy knew to be careful of what she said to strangers when in pain; but no one warned her that vengeance demons were eavesdroppers and granted wishes that weren't expressed to them, though. "I wish I could go back in time and fix it." Spuffy

**Based on Episodes:** 6x05 '_Life Serial_' and 6x08 '_Tabula Rasa_'

**Rating:** M

**Pairings:** Spuffy, Tallow, Xanya

**Genre:** Adventure/Romance

* * *

**Buffy's Chance**

**Chapter Three**

The Watcher's Council surprised Buffy by granting her a generous salary the moment Giles mentioned it; it was like they had been waiting for her request. It was by no means in the top income bracket, but with the phoney job title as 'telemarketer', it provided her with the perfect excuse for working from home, and the forty-five thousand English pound per year salary (which Anya calculated to be somewhere between sixty-five and seventy thousand American dollars), Buffy would be able to quickly pay off her bills and afford an allowance for Dawn. She had yet to catch her out on the kleptomania, and was wondering how to do it. Hopefully having a little more money every two weeks would cut down on the stealing.

Willow was still half-heartedly looking for an after-school job. Tara had yet to work up the courage to confront her about her use of Magic, wanting to catch her using spells in excess before bringing it up. She'd watched Willow carefully for almost a week, and was alarmed at what she was seeing. She _knew_ that Willow was getting a little too deep into the Black Arts, but she had no idea how deep; the books that she'd found under the clothing in Willow's drawers were full of all sorts of spells that Tara herself wouldn't try for years, despite the fact that she had been practising longer.

Willow had, of course, noticed that everyone was walking on eggshells around her, but she didn't understand why. Giles, Buffy and Tara were all avoiding her gaze and often left the room when she came into it (Dawn hadn't been told what was going on, but had noticed everyone else's behaviour and had begun to emulate them for completely different reasons), confusing her beyond holy heck. Had Giles told them about what she'd said to him in the kitchen the other night? He had no right to tattle on her about a private conversation; especially about things that were both true, and said in the heat of the moment. She was sorry she'd threatened him, but she wasn't going to take it back. If he wanted to insult her, she was going to defend herself. She wasn't a meek little girl anymore. She was a very powerful witch, and it was time they learned to accept and respect that.

After a week since her conversation with Tara, and confident that she would attempt to slow Willow down, Buffy and Dawn were getting into a regular routine; Dawn would be up and off to school in the mornings, leaving Buffy asleep until about ten. Buffy would then go to the Magic Box for training with Giles until Xander dropped Dawn off from school, at which point Buffy would give Dawn another self-defence lesson, and would later take her sister home to do her homework.

Depending on what time Dawn finished (and if she wasn't going out with friends), they would either watch television with Giles and order in, or they would have a blast trying to cook something out of their mother's recipe books; not all of these were edible, but Dawn liked to cook and was enjoying spending time with Buffy – and Buffy's culinary skills were improving as a direct result of the time in the kitchen.

When Tara came home from her new job at the Magic Box at six, they would have dinner, which was usually a household affair. At nine, Buffy patrolled for a few hours before coming home at about one in the morning for sleep. It was a comfortable routine to settle into, but it wasn't one that would last forever – Buffy could _feel_ that things were going well, but was willing to bet that certain things would interfere before long. Especially since she was looking for somewhere to fit Spike in outside of patrol, since she didn't want to ignore him completely and give off the vibe that she was only using him for his muscle; she knew he wouldn't fit in with her friends, since only Dawn really liked him (Tara was courteous enough, and loved to poke harmless fun at the neutered vampire, but was never as rude to him as the other Scoobies were), which made things difficult.

She was only thinking of the happy now, though; her first _major_ achievement was when Tara provided her with her first rent payment. Pocketing the bills (she was only charging them eighty dollars a month each, since she had her own income), she gave Tara a big smile and a hug. "Thanks, Tara."

"No p-problem." She dug through her purse for more money. "W-Willow asked me to, to cover her this month, too, s-since she's having tr-trouble finding a job."

Buffy grabbed Tara's wrist before she could extract any more notes. "No." She shook her head.

"No?"

"I know the pay from the Magic Box isn't great; especially since you're only there part time. Don't pay for her." Buffy frowned. "There's still three weeks left for the month. I'm sure she'll find something before I have to get onto her about it." She lied. She wasn't at all convinced that Willow was looking for work (she liked to spend her free time in the Magic Box pretending to check the classifieds while covertly reading spell books) and didn't want Tara saddled with having to pay for both of them. While she knew that Willow and Tara came as a package deal and shared everything with each other, she didn't want Willow to take advantage of her girlfriend.

"Are you sure?" Tara frowned.

"Positive." Buffy nodded.

"O-okay." Tara smiled slightly, putting her purse away. "I-I'll tell Willow that you, you're still w-waiting for it, then."

"Super." Buffy rubber her eyes, yawning. It was Friday afternoon, which meant that the Magic Box had closed early and Dawn was out with school friends. Willow had met with another student to tutor him and Giles was helping Anya with the books for the business while he was in the country, to help pass the time. It was just Buffy and Tara in the house, and they were in the kitchen; Tara was sitting on a stool while Buffy frowned over a recipe that she was trying for an early dinner. "Did you talk to Willow about you-know-what yet?" She asked.

"Not yet." Tara admitted. "I will, though. S-soon."

"As long as she listens." Buffy pursed her lips, tossing in a pinch of salt. "Just, don't leave it too long, please? I know this sounds really pushy of me, and you're fully right to tell me that it's none of my business and to butt out, but it really worries me."

"Y-you're right about it th-though." Tara watched her. "And, and it's just as much y-your business as it is ours. She's, she's your friend and we, we're living in your house." She pursed her lips. "I gotta admit… I'd feel b-better if you and Giles helped m-me."

Buffy stared at her. "I dunno if that's such a good idea. She'll probably think that we're ganging up on her."

Tara sighed. "I just… I think sh-she'd listen more if it came from a-all of us. I m-might be her, her girlfriend, but she l-looks up to Giles and you and D-Dawnie are like, like sisters to her."

"I dunno…"

"Please?" Tara blinked at her.

"I… I guess…" Buffy faltered. "We should talk to Giles first, then."

"Mhmm." Tara hummed. "I'll call him now." She reached for the phone.

* * *

Willow found herself looking onto three very serious faces when she came home from tutoring that night. Dawn was in the hallway, looking on curiously, but a look from Buffy sent her scurrying up the stairs – she wasn't too bitter about what was going on; Buffy had told her that they would likely be arguing, and while Dawn had expressed curiosity, Buffy had told her that she wasn't to be part of the conversation and had promised to fill her in later if things went well. If they didn't, she said, Dawn would likely hear it from her room.

"What's up, guys?" Willow asked apprehensively, standing in the entrance to the living room. "Is something wrong? Is it a demon?"

"Perhaps you'd better take a seat." Giles gestured to the couch; he was standing, while Tara and Buffy were seated in armchairs on either side of the set-up. No one noticed Dawn creeping back to the landing, to eavesdrop on the conversation; she couldn't see them, but she could hear everything that was going on.

Willow took a seat in the middle of the couch. "Guys, what's going on? Did something happen while I was out? Are Xander and Anya okay?" She asked, since they were the only two out of the Scoobies who weren't there.

"No, they're fine." Buffy shook her head. "We want to talk to you about something."

"We w-wanted to talk to, to you about your m-magic, sweetie." Tara twisted her hands in her lap.

"What about it?" Willow frowned, looking at them one by one.

Giles cleaned his glasses in the silence, replacing them on his nose as he cleared his throat. "We are concerned that you are abusing your magicks, Willow." He said bluntly, sitting on the arm of Buffy's chair.

Willow frowned. "What?"

Tara reached down beside her chair and pulled up a few books from the side. She placed them cover-side-up on the coffee table. "L-look at these books; '_Dark Spells for Enemies_', '_Manipulation of Time-Space_', '_The Book of the Dead_' '_Complex Transmogrification_'?" She read incredulously. "W-Willow, this is way ahead of, of you."

"W-where did you find those?" Willow stared at them.

"You kn-know where I found th-them." Tara frowned.

"You were going through my things?" Willow frowned at Tara. "Why would you do that?" She demanded defensively.

"Because I asked her to keep an eye on you." Buffy butted in. "I've seen you do more spells since I've been back than I have since you started practising."

"It's none of your business what I do with my magicks." Willow turned to frown at Buffy. "Besides, it was my magic that brought you back from, from that _place_. It brought you back to life!"

"A-and you almost died doing the, the spell." Tara pointed out. "You, you pretended to be o-okay, but at first, I, I could sense that your aura was weak. Did y-you forget that you were p-passed out for, for hours after we left the graveyard?"

"She was?" Buffy blinked. She hadn't heard that part.

"You weren't aware?" Giles blinked at Buffy. "Did you not notice when you left the graveyard to flee the demons?"

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room; Giles hadn't been told of their crucial error in the resurrection spell. "Buffy wasn't w-with us when we left the graveyard." Tara murmured to break it.

Giles frowned in confusion. "But, Willow said—"

"Willow glossed over some of the finer details." Buffy's voice was low, too, as she crossed her arms and stared at her lap. "Sure. They resurrected me." She shuddered. "But they left me in my coffin under six feet of dirt. I had to dig my way though to the surface. Everyone was long-gone when I got out."

Giles stared. "Buffy—"

"This isn't about that." Buffy cut him off. "This is about Willow." She looked up at her friend, who was looking defensive and angry. "It's little oversights like that that could get people killed, Wills. Not to mention the trauma it can inflict. I almost suffocated in that grave. I have nightmares about it." Even five years later. They were less frequent now, but they were still there.

Willow balked. "So I made a mistake—"

"A mistake that, that almost killed Buffy." Tara blurted. "Again. And, and left us all v-vulnerable afterwards."

"It was very foolish of you, Willow." Giles was massaging a temple in an attempt to digest this new information. "It just goes to show what I was talking about the other night. You are in over your head."

"No, I'm not—"

"Willow," Tara said firmly, "you are using too much magic."

"I'm _not_!" She insisted. "Okay, so I'm testing my limits. Is that so wrong? Why are you all against me?" She demanded, rocketing to her feet.

"We're not against you, Willow." Giles told her firmly. "Now sit down."

"No, I will _not_ sit down!" Willow shouted. "You're, you're all treating me like I'm the bad guy!"

"We are not." Buffy used a low voice to try to offset Willow's yelling. "You're being stupid. Sit down."

"You are so!" Willow snapped. "I _know_ it was you and Giles that told Tara to warn me about my magicks, Buffy!" Willow had rounded the table to stand over Buffy with her arms crossed. "Xander was right! You're… you're all just being jealous and, and ungrateful!"

Buffy snapped; she rocketed to her feet and gave Willow a good, sharp slap across the face that echoed in the silence that had descended across everyone else. "Don't you _dare_ accuse me of being ungrateful!" Buffy snapped. "You think I don't appreciate being brought back to life? Are you _stupid_?" She demanded. "I've _seen_ what abuse of magic can do, Willow! Or are you forgetting Amy's Mom? Or _Amy_? God, Wil, they destroyed themselves when they got too deep into magic!" She held back the knowledge of Willow's own future, although she very much wanted to bring it up.

"I'm not that stupid! I'm careful! Okay, so I accidentally overlooked something in the resurrection spell—" Willow argued.

"And you're acting like you think I ought to be bending to _your_ every will, after the trauma that I went though!" Buffy continued on her tirade, her face reddening. She'd been aching to say this for ages now. "D'you think I haven't heard you? You resent me because now that I'm back, you're not getting a free ride anymore; you don't have control over _my_ house or money anymore! You treat your girlfriend like she's stupid, you patronise my sister like she doesn't matter, and you _threatened_ my Watcher, Willow. Maybe you need to take a step back and realise that you're so drunk with power that it's eating you up from the inside out! The Willow I know and love would never do any of those things!"

Silence descended over the house; Tara and Giles were staring at Buffy with awe. Willow's eyes were wide, her hand over her abused cheek. "Buffy, I…" her voice was small.

"Don't." Buffy growled, eyes closed, pointing at the door. "Just… don't. I don't want to see you right now." Willow fled up the stairs as Buffy sank into her chair.

Buffy sighed. She was suddenly very sleepy. "What?" She snapped at the other two, staring at her. "You know it's true."

Everyone avoided looking at each other in the fallout; Dawn retreated to her room when Willow passed her. The house was so silent that they heard Xander's car pull up out the front; Willow must have used the upstairs phone to call him. She didn't say anything as she came down the stairs and slammed the door behind her in her hurry to leave.

* * *

Anya was not pleased about their houseguest. She spent about ten minutes in the kitchen trying to dig out the ice cream out of their freezer on Xander's orders; he was busy comforting a crying Willow in the living room.

So, she was thrown out of Buffy's house. Anya didn't get the big deal. Buffy had every right to throw her out if she didn't want her there.

She was armed with three bowls of chocolate-chip ice cream when she went back into the living room. Dumping two of them with a pair of spoons on the table, she reclined in her own chair across the room.

"But why?" Xander was asking. "Why did she say that?"

"Be-be-because they think I'm ab-abusing m-magic." Willow sniffled, wiping her eyes as she reached for a bowl and spoon.

"But that's ridiculous." Xander scoffed. "Isn't that ridiculous?" He shot to Anya.

"I don't think so." Anya shrugged. "Willow's been using a lot of magic for a lot of little things. That never leads anywhere good."

"But I've always been c-careful." Willow hiccupped. "I'm not ir-irresponsible!"

"It's the responsible ones you have to look out for." Anya said bluntly. "Like you; you've done something incredibly powerful, and you like how it felt. Soon you'll be using that power for less than scrupulous purposes, and you'll like how _that_ feels, and you'll do it more and more often. Eventually, you'll be so powerful that you'll do something really evil and probably hurt a bunch of people in the process." She shrugged, popping a spoon full of ice cream in her mouth. "It's better that you realise that you have a problem now, while it's still early, and try to get help for it. Buffy's right. You're going down a bad path."

"Anya!" Xander was shocked at his fiancée. "How could you say that?"

"Because it's true." Anya defended. "I think you forget how old I am sometimes, Xander. Willow wouldn't be the first witch I've seen turn evil. Half of the world's vengeance demons used to be very powerful witches." She stood up, walking to the bedroom door. "I'm a non-practicing witch, you know. Remember what I told you? I was hexing my ex-fiancé when he left me before I became a demon. If D'Hoffryn hadn't found me, I'd likely have gotten a lot worse. I know these things. It's just that none of you ever want to listen to me!" She slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Buffy was expecting the nerd trio to mess with her soon.

She and Dawn had chosen to go shopping on Monday afternoon rather than cook, and were just about to sit in the food court to share some Chinese food when someone barrelled into Buffy. Luckily, Dawn was carrying the tray, so none of the food was lost, but Buffy was knocked over and whacked her head pretty hard against the ground; she was seeing stars as Dawn put the tray down and bent over her.

"You okay?" She asked, not bothering to stare after the guy as he scurried out of sight.

"M'fine." She winced, stumbling to her feet. "God, rude much?" She tried to see the guy over the heads of the circle of onlookers that were starting to dissipate. "Did you see who it was?" Was it Warren? Andrew? Jonathon?

"No." Dawn shook her head. "Guy was wearing a jacket and hat. Didn't see his face."

"No big." Buffy deposited herself into a chair. "You gonna sit, Dawn?" She asked, blinking up at her sister, who was watching her.

"Oh!" Dawn sat across the table and leant over to get a carton. "Yeah, sorry." She broke a pair of chopsticks and started to eat. "So, anyway…"

Buffy's eyes were trained on her food when she first heard the buzzing. Looking up, she saw Dawn move in fast-forward as she ate, not able to hear anything that her sister was saying until time slowed down.

"…and then she said that Danny was too slow for track, and…"

Buzzing.

"…_totally_ needs to stop waiting for her outside the locker rooms…"

Buzzing.

"…then Anya said that Xander was just threatened by Spike's 'rugged handsomeness', which, like, totally _duh_…"

Buffy blinked at that one, intrigued. Just her luck that the buzzing kicked in again, gypping her of the rest of the conversation. She frowned in irritation; at least, though, she wasn't being run over by students hurrying on their way to and from class. A lot less pain to be had when she was sitting out of the way of pedestrian traffic. She pulled off her jacket and searched it all over, looking for the thing that was making time go all wonky. She couldn't find it.

"…you even listening to me?" Dawn was demanding. Buffy looked up. "I've been talking to you for the last hour and you haven't said a word." Oh. She was pissed.

"There's something on me." Buffy tried to explain. "Something that's making—" the buzzing started again "—time go wonky." She sighed into the buzzing mass around her.

She patted her sides and obviously managed to brush something off; time went back to normal, but she couldn't see where the little thing had landed. She blinked a few times, looking around her, waiting for the buzzing to start again.

She heard a little 'pft' sound, like the noise the little ball of 'lint' had made when it self-destructed on campus. Unfortunately, Dawn had already had enough of her catatonic sister, and was viciously attacking the rest of her food in silence. "Dawnie."

"What?" She snapped.

"You will _not_ believe what just happened to me…"

At least she knew what kinds of demons were coming for her later, and how to stop the time loop.

* * *

It had been a while since Buffy had cast a spell. It had become a part of a Slayer's regular arsenal post-Sunnydale, since Willow was able to teach after her success at not becoming evil after her big spell in the school. Mostly Slayers were taught healing, detection and minor offensive and defensive spells, but those who proved to have an affinity for it were taught other, more advanced magicks. Buffy was by no means great at magic. She'd mastered some spells to an intermediate level, and was nowhere _near_ Willow's (or even Tara's) current ability; but she felt the need to _do_ something. Something didn't seem _right_ since Willow had come home on Sunday afternoon.

She just wanted to check. That was all. And if nothing was wrong, then there was no need to worry about it and she'd never think about it ever again. But if she was right, and Willow was just getting worse faster than she had last time, then something needed to be done. And so she sat in the centre of a circle of sand on Monday night while everyone was getting ready for dinner, just as she had when she'd discovered that evening that Dawn was not really her sister, and burned incense while meditating.

She easily recognised the feel of the trance. Taking deep breaths and reminding herself that Dawn would fade in and out of sight (_knowing_ that her sister wasn't real and _accepting_ it were two different things. She loved her sister, but it would be like a slap in the face to see it again), she opened the door and crept out into the hall.

Tara was just coming upstairs to get her for dinner. She sniffed the air a few times, frowning, before looking at Buffy. "Buffy… did… did you do a spell?" She asked, blinking.

Buffy was absently studying the aura around the witch. Her personal aura, the one that looked as if it were coming out of her very pores, was a greenish colour; not the prettiest in the world, but it was marred by something else. Around Tara's head, there was a layer of red under the green (at least, it looked like red, but it was kinda hard to tell). She frowned and cocked her head, inching closer to Tara and squinted at the magic. It was definitely a spell of some description; it looked as if it were… leaking into her ears? What the hell was that?

There was a thin red line trailing off behind Tara. Ignoring the other woman's concerned and confused questions, Buffy rounded her and began to follow it. She paused at the mirror at the top of the stairs. Looking at it, she noted her own blue-and-gold aura (the gold slivers she recognised as remnants of future-Willow's protective spell. It was supposed to prevent mind-altering spells to be effective against her. It was nice to think that she still held a piece of the future in her being), and… a blanket of red over her head? Unlike Tara, who had the red _under_ her aura, it seemed unable to penetrate past future-Willow's spell.

Blinking at herself and still tuning Tara out, she descended the stairs slowly. Tara passed her and called out to the others (Xander and Anya were over for dinner and movies that night), telling them that she thought there was something wrong with Buffy. Only, when they all crowded into the hall, Buffy discovered that there _was_ something wrong.

Something very, _very_ wrong.

"What did you do?" She hissed at Willow, grabbing her by the collar and flattening her against the wall. Xander and Giles attempted to pry her one-handed grip off of her, but she pushed them back with her free hand. "_What did you do_?" She demanded again. "Did you think no one would notice?" Willow tried to struggle away from the admittedly freaking-acting Buffy, but she flattened her hand against Willow's breastbone and refused to let up. "Did you think no one would _see_?"

"Buffy, what on _Earth_—?" Giles attempted to get the Slayer to move again. She shoved him with a little more force than necessary. He fell backward into Anya and Tara, who had to help him upright after his stumble.

Willow looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Anya was blabbering something about the fallout of the resurrection spell, even though that was now almost three months ago. Buffy turned around to the blabbering group (studiously ignoring her heart wrenches at seeing and hearing Dawn fade in and out of existence). "Shut up." She ordered them. They did. She turned back to Willow.

"Well?" She demanded.

"B-Buffy, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Willow squeaked a little too quickly.

"I see it." She raved like a demented person. "The clouds of red, all seeping into their ears, to their brains." She was well aware of how much she sounded like Drusilla at that point, but didn't really care. She was _pissed_. "I see the little trails, leading back to _you_."

"W-what is she talking ab-about?" Tara whispered to Giles.

"I don't know." Giles responded.

"I'm talking about a spell." Buffy's eyes never left Willow's as she ground out the words. "Willow's done a little spell. Was it mind-control? Or was it a memory spell?" She demanded, pressing a little harder. She knew the trance made her a little more aggressive than normal, but she felt a sort of righteous justification when she was reminded of Willow's little '_tabula rasa_' spell last time. This was just a toned-down version of that… and a little sooner. Something had to be done.

"Buffy, calm down." Giles attempted to reason with her. "You know Willow would never—"

"Oh, she wouldn't?" Buffy scoffed. "Do you even remember telling her how stupid she was to resurrect me, Giles? Or did you erase that memory, _Wills_?" She spat. "Tara, d'you remember telling her she was using too much magic?" She could tell by the shocked silence that the others were either believing her or thinking she was insane. "You didn't think anyone would be immune, did you? You thought you could bring all of us under your magically-enlarged thumb."

"Buffy… what's wr-wrong with you?" Willow whimpered, trying desperately to get away from her. Trying to save face and not admit to the manipulation of her friends' minds.

"How do you know?" Anya piped up plainly. "That Willow's cast a spell on us, I mean?"

"An!" Xander was flabbergasted. "How could you even _think_ that Wil would—?"

"_A tirer la couture_." Buffy interrupted him. "You remember? That spell I used when I found out that Dawn wasn't real?" She hated herself for saying it and winced at the bluntness of it, but it was the truth. "It lets me see if there are magicks in the air. I see them all around the lot of you. There's a spell trying to make it's way into _my_ brain too, but it doesn't work. They all lead back to _her_."

"…good Lord." Giles was cleaning his glasses.

"A-are you sure you d-did it right?" Willow suggested in a last ditch effort.

Buffy looked right at Dawn and both Summers girls flinched. "I see Dawn fading in and out of existence, just like last time." She snapped her gaze to Willow again. "I'm _positive_ I've done it right."

She shook her head, bringing the trance to an end. She snatched her hand away from Willow as if she burned. "Will, how could you?" She asked in a gentler, hurt voice. "How could you do that to us?"

Willow had the good graces to look ashamed of herself. Looking close to tears, she muttered something that Buffy didn't make out; it was obviously a counter spell of some sort, if the exclamations coming from behind Buffy were any indication. As she turned to look at the rest of the Scooby gang, she took in the varying expressions of shock and anger. Giles looked furious; he was clenching and unclenching his jaw, a little of the 'Ripper' showing through.

But he was nothing compared to Tara.

She had balled up her fists, her eyes flashing with white-hot rage. She glared at her girlfriend, shaking her head a little as she attempted to process the violation that Willow had inflicted on her friends. "How _dare_ you use that spell on us?" She demanded in a voice so low it was almost a whisper. "On me? After what Glory did to me? How could you _violate_ my mind like that?"

"Baby—"

"Don't 'baby' me." Tara spat. "I… I can't even _look_ at you—!" She turned to hurry back up the stairs.

Willow finally moved, grabbing at Tara's wrist. "Baby, please!" She cried. "I only wanted to… to make things better for everyone. To make all the hurt and the anger go away! To make the fighting stop."

Tara stared at her coldly. "But _you_ don't get to decide what's better for us, Will." She shook her head in disappointment. "If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear." She turned around. "I just… I can't… I just need to be… alone. Just, just leave me alone." She headed up the stairs. They heard the door to the master bedroom close a few seconds later. When Buffy strained her ears in the quiet that ensued, she could just barely make out Tara's muffled sobs.

"Well, that was very stupid of you, Willow." Anya said bluntly.

**

* * *

**

She was questioned later. She told them she didn't know why Willow's spell hadn't affected her (it was agreed by all who weren't Willow that they were lucky that it hadn't), and when asked why she'd done the _a tirer la couture_, Buffy had had to make up a lie about a Slayer dream. Turning the events of what she was now referring to as her 'past life' into a vague sort of dream montage wasn't that difficult. She told them about seeing Willow cast spells that accidentally left them vulnerable, of seeing her with dark hair and attacking herself and Giles, and of seeing her at 'something that looked like a temple of some sort with Xander in the way'.

Besides remarking that she should have come to him before casting her spell, Giles seemed convinced.

"I just… wanted to check things before I started causing panic." She sounded contrite. To be honest, she hadn't thought of the consequences before casting it. She'd merely hoped that she was wrong and wouldn't have to bring it up with the group. Now, she was just angry, but she was forced to be careful. One wrong word could blow the whole thing wide open. "It just felt like things were…" she chanced a glace at Willow, who sat with her hands folded in her lap, picking at her nails, "…wrong. And I wanted to make sure."

She briefly thought of what she was doing as manipulation of her friends, like Willow was trying to do, but quickly dismissed the notion. She _was_ trying to shape the world, yes, but she wasn't depriving them of knowledge that they were meant to possess, or taking away memories of what they'd already experienced. She was just giving them gentle nudges in the right direction (well… giant shoves in Willow's case, she guessed), not unlike what they'd done to her before. She wasn't trying to _control_ them. She was taking control of _herself_, and _that_ changed how they behaved. She would only be sticking her nose into their business to avoid them hurting themselves (or other people).

"I'm sorry." Willow said again for what was probably the fiftieth time. Buffy was getting sick of hearing it.

Giles looked at her. "I hope you understand how very… betrayed we're feeling, Willow." He regarded her levelly. "Erasing memories is not something to be done lightly, and is incredibly easy to get wrong." No kidding, Buffy thought, reminding herself of 'Joan' and 'Randy'. "Not to mention, it is one of the basest violations a witch can bestow upon a person other than complete mind control."

'_Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles', or 'Desperate-For-A-Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!_

Buffy had to stuff a muffin in her mouth to keep from snickering at the memory. She didn't know why, but whenever she thought of the disastrous memory spell, that was the first thing that came to mind. As she chewed, she remembered all the other things that had happened, too. They'd all almost been killed. Tara had left Willow. Giles had left right after. She'd kissed Spike.

Okay, so maybe it wouldn't be _all_ bad if it happened again now. But at the time? Kissing Spike had been very, very bad, which was precisely why she'd done it. She'd wanted a break from what she '_should_' have been doing, according to her friends. And making out with a soulless vampire? It was like giving the Watcher's Council (and by extension, Giles) a giant middle finger; the ultimate act of defiance. She'd remembered liking it when she'd kissed him when Sweet had been in town, and just wanted to feel that escape again. It just… spiralled out of control after that.

She snapped back to attention when Giles brought up the Devon Coven. "They would be able to teach you so much more about the laws of magic than you could discover from any of the textbooks in the Magic Box." He was saying. "It would take time… perhaps six months?"

Willow was looking at him with wide eyes. "And if I don't want to go to England?" She challenged.

"Will…" Buffy sighed. Xander and Anya were being very quiet, Dawn was sitting next to Buffy (that was becoming a habit, which Buffy had found she liked) eating a muffin, and Tara was still upstairs. Buffy was being mostly silent while Giles had lectured her friend.

"Think, Willow." Giles prompted her. "When Buffy gets prophetic dreams, there is usually very little we can do about it until it's too late. Think of this as a chance to… to learn more about yourself and your power."

"And what if going to this coven is just opening the door for this to happen?" Willow countered, though there wasn't really much resistance to the idea anymore. "What then?"

"The Coven don't employ the Black Arts." Giles shook his head. "They practice the purest of White Magic, and wield great power. They don't usually take on students," he admitted, "but I would hazard a guess that due to the… extenuating circumstances, they would be willing to consider it."

"Do I have to decide now?" Willow asked with a small voice.

"Of course not." Giles sighed. "But if you are willing to entertain the notion, then I must contact the Coven at once."

"I'll… think about it." Willow finally sniffled.

"Then I will call them."

**

* * *

**

Buffy set up the inflatable mattress on her bedroom floor for Willow. Tara hadn't come out of the Master bedroom, and Buffy had needed to go in to get Willow's pyjamas and clothing for the next day. Willow wasn't speaking to Buffy either, but there was nowhere else for her to sleep. Anya had (for once) put her foot down when Xander wanted to take Willow to their apartment for the night; she didn't want a spell-happy witch with wonky emotions in their home. Tara wouldn't even open the door for her, Giles was still in the living room, and Dawn was so angry with Willow for her spell that she wouldn't even look at her.

While Willow changed for bed, Buffy crept over to Dawn's room and knocked on the door, pushing it open. Dawn was sitting at her vanity mirror, brushing her hair and looking like she wanted to cry. Dawn glanced at Buffy in the mirror before setting her face and continuing to brush in long, even strokes.

"Hey." Buffy sat on the bed against the headboard, watching her sister with a slightly tilted head and crossed legs. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Dawn bit. "Between having _another_ spell cast on me that messes with my memory," Buffy winced at the reminder that all of her memories with Dawn until about a year and a half ago were all lies, "and being reminded that I don't really exist… I'm just great."

"Dawn," Buffy winced, "I didn't mean it like that." She sighed. "You know I love you, right?"

Dawn finished brushing her hair and came to sit next to Buffy on the bed. She hesitated for a minute before making like she wanted to crawl onto Buffy's lap, like she used to with their mother; Buffy didn't even hesitate to open her arms and gather her up like a child, despite the fact that Dawn was fifteen and taller than her. She kissed her hair lightly as Dawn began to sniffle, rocking them back and forth for a few minutes. "I love you too." She finally heard mumbled into her collarbone.

"I only said what I said downstairs," Buffy explained, "to make the point that my spell was working. It had nothing to do with you. You know I wouldn't give you up for anything, right? That I'd do anything to make sure you're safe?"

"Yeah, I got that when you—" Dawn broke off, shivering slightly. Buffy didn't need her to say '_jumped off that tower_'. She knew what she was talking about.

"Good." Buffy rested her temple against the crown of Dawn's head. "'Cause I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'm so glad you're here." Dawn's hands clutched at Buffy's pyjamas. "Please don't go away again… I don't think I could take it if you did."

"Don't worry, Dawnie." Buffy said with conviction. "I wont."


End file.
